Refund Policy
Wait, you're serious?
You actually clicked the "Refund" link? For a digital picture of a rock? Rocks for brains, for fucks sake. We at Stoned.io have a very strict policy regarding your sudden "buyer’s remorse." Please read the following carefully, although we suspect reading might not be your strong suit.
The "Return" Protocol
Since this is a digital asset, we can't exactly "take it back." So, what do you want me to do?
- Do you want to send me a video of you ripping up your laptop screen to prove the file is destroyed?
- Should I fly to your house and hit your "Delete" key personally while we both weep over your lost Euro?
Non-Refundable Scenarios
We do NOT offer refunds if:
- Your rock didn't "grow": It’s a PNG, Dave. It’s not going to sprout moss or turn into a mountain.
- The rock looked "too gray": It’s a stone. What did you expect? Neon pink?
- You realized you just paid €50 for a picture of Dwayne Johnson: That sounds like a "you" problem. That man is a national treasure.
How to apply for a refund (Good luck)
If you still feel entitled to your money back, please print out the Adoption Certificate, take it to the nearest quarry, and explain your feelings to a real boulder.
If the boulder agrees to refund you, have it send us a carrier pigeon with its signature.
Until then: No refunds. Ever. ---